Simian Spankus Interruptus

Many years ago now, BF (Before Facebook), Guro Ron used to have – as part of the website for the school – a traditional webforum, where all sorts of topics martial arts related and otherwise were discussed.

One day, one of the JKD students posted inquiring about the relationship between sexual activity (whether alone or with company) and fighting ability:

No direspect to the people that run this forum.I dont know of any other way of approaching this subject.So I’ll just be blunt.

Is too much sex or excessive masterbation bad for you?

Can it kill you testosterone or will it incearse it?

I give you word and I’m not trying to be funny.

There were several and many responses, but Randy (a MMA fighter back then and ultimately one of Ron’s instructors) won the Internet that day with:

Before my fights I beat the hog till clown souce appears ; then I stop and go fight after the fight I finish. Days leading to fight I cut it down to 2/3 times a day. To much Sex evan with your self will weaken your legs and realease chemical in your brain that will slow you down. Other than that the only distraction is if your trying to get off your not focused on fighting.

Presently, as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’m in the final month of bulk mode (which ends on St. Brigid’s Day). I would really like to reach full sets on my “stretch weights” (next increment up from where I can do full sets).

Thus, in the interest of testosterone enhancement – but without resorting to anything artificial – I’m trying Randy’s, um, pre-fight Simian Spankus Interruptus technique.

Is it working? Well, I AM hitting the stretch weights pretty consistently, and am more – aggressive? – in my lifting. In fact, I feel like:

That said, I also smell like:

and I’m not the best smelling Critter as it is.

So I guess something is happening.

I have to say, in all seriousness, that of all the life hacks I’ve tried – and that includes the likes of the Baking Soda Thing:
Boost Your Athletic Performance With Baking Soda
whereby I ingested TWENTY FIVE GRAMS of baking soda dissolved in copious water (within a half hour it was like I had a fire hose spraying out of my a**h***) – this one is, by FAR, not only the most effective but the most… pleasant.